What's This Life For?
by Luna Starwind
Summary: *Songfic* The millennium is here, the battle has bee fought and won. Now the surviving Daybreakers all live together in a place called the Sactuary. Everyone is happy, everyone but Nissa. R&R please.


What's this Life For?

By Luna Starwind

Sung by Creed

Nissa Johnson sits near the edge of the lake at the Circle Daybreak sanctuary. The Armageddon had come and gone, Circle Daybreak remains. Poppy North and James Rasmussen are running in the water, Poppy in a simple black one piece and James in a pair of navy trunks. The pixie looking made vampire runs and splashes her lamia soulmate. She laughs just before he pounces on her knocking her on her back in the water.

"I surrender! James I said I surrender." Poppy yells as she surfaces.

"Fine." He says getting off her.

She stands in front of him. He chuckles as she shakes water droplets form her red curls. Then she spears him knocking him into the water. Nissa chuckles as she scans the edge of the lake. She spots a black panther sunbathing next to a leopard.

"Galen sure is making the boss happy." She says quietly.

Standing she walks away from the lake passing Thea Harman teaching Eric Ross some magic under a willow tree. The blue sky spotted with puffy white clouds and the sun shinning. A sparrow flies over head singing all the way. With a sigh Nissa walks beneath an ironwork arch. Grey and white headstones line the ground.

She walks through the headstones to the back of the small cemetery. She stops before the statue of an angel and two headstones one made of blue marble the other red marble. At the base of the angel Gillian Lennox is engraved. On the red marble headstone Jez Redfern is engraved with Morgead Blackthorn engraved on the blue marble headstone beside it. 

__

Hurray for a child 

That makes it though

If there's any way

Because the answer lies in you

They're laid to rest

Before they know just what to do

Their souls are lost

Because they could never find

Running her fingers over the engraving on the headstone she sighs. Morgead had been killed by Hunter Redfern, when Jez saw this she fought him and killed him. But the price was her life. Nissa had known Jez since she joined Circle Daybreak. They had gotten to be close friends after Jez learned she was one of the legendary Wild Powers. On the red marble headstone beneath Jez's name "One from the Day World where two eyes are watching" is engraved in a light cursive.

She turns to the statue and looks over the base. A single pink rose sits at the feet of the angel. After Gillian joined Circle Daybreak she started learning magic from Thea. By the time the Armageddon came she was as good as a true Harman witch. She nearly lasted the whole battle but she was attacked by a vampire, she died in David's arms. He hasn't been the same since. He stayed with them but he mostly keeps to himself.

A slight smile crosses her lips as she slowly stands. Nissa walks out of the cemetery. A forest lines the perimeter of the sanctuary. In the center of a large clearing sits a mansion, large enough to hold the remains of Circle Daybreak but small enough to not need any servants. Most of the Daybreakers can take care of themselves, besides the fact that Thierry Decouedres is spending some of his millions on his fellow Daybreakers.

Everything seemed perfect enough at the sanctuary. The weather is usually pleasant, but today was warm. Nissa's short mink colored hair was back in a ponytail and she wore a crimson tank top and blue jean shorts. She walks across the grass clearing toward the mansion.

"Nice day, huh Nissa." A male voice says from her left.

She turns to see Ash Redfern sitting beneath an oak tree. She glances around seeing him without his soulmate, or his sisters. Walking over to him she stands letting her skin soak up the coolness of the shade.

"It's alright. Where's Mary-Lynnette?" She asks as he stretches seeming cat-like.

"She went shopping with Illiana and Maggie, they somehow talked my sisters into joining them." He says folding his arms behind his head and leaning back on the trunk of the oak.

"For once you're alone. I mean after what happened-"

"You should talk, you're _always_ alone." Ash cuts her off with a bit of a hiss in his voice.

Nissa looks him over not feeling much up to an argument with Ash. So she turns and walks away. During the Armageddon Mary-Lynnette had been seriously injured. If it hadn't of been for Winnie she would have died in Ash's arms, like Gillian had. She sighs and pushes the door open to the mansion. Ignoring the other Daybreakers she treks up the staircase to her room.

__

What's this life for?

What's this life for?

What's this life for?

What's this life for?

Her room was simple and empty. Four white walls, a twin bed and a dresser. She shuffles over to the bed and plops down. Laying on her back she stares up at the ceiling. Ash's harsh words still resounding in the corners of her mind. Nearly everyone had found their soulmate, only Kestrel, Rowan, Illiana and herself were the only ones who were alone. Kestrel and Rowan Redfern were two of Ash's three sisters and they could have cared less about falling in love. 

Illiana Harman on the other hand had the eye of a vampire and a witch. The witch's name was Triston. He is an extremely distance cousin of her's, and the one who taught her a lot of magic along with Winnie and Thea. The vampire's name was Simon. The best way to describe him is tall dark and handsome. Nissa honestly thought Simon was her soulmate considering she seems to be so comfortable around him. While Winfrith Arlin, Winnie for short, had found her soulmate but Nissa had never met him so therefore she couldn't say anything about him.

A sigh escapes her as she sinks further into the bed. After coming to the sanctuary she'd loved being around the other Daybreakers all the time. But as the weeks past Nissa found herself feeling lonely among the Daybreakers and their soulmates. Reaching under her pillow she pulls out a razor with a cardboard sheath. Sitting up on the bed she removes the cardboard exposing the sharp razorblade. She drags the blade across the sensitive flesh of her pale wrist.

As the sharp metal crossed her flesh she felt nothing but numb. When she pulls the blade across again she presses down leaving a small cut on her wrist. She drags it across again this time a bit swifter with the same result. Continuing with this gaining more speed until the flesh on the underside of her forearm was left in ribbons between slices. She stares at her arm almost blankly the razor in her other hand. No blood pours from the wounds, they are too shallow for blood to do much more then gather in the open wounds. Still feeling numb, the sweet razors kiss had done nothing.

The doorknob slowly turns as a knock comes on the door. Her mink eyes widen as she quickly puts the razor in her other hand and puts her arm behind her back. The door creaks open as she leans back on her arm.

"Nissa?" A soft voice calls.

The door opens to reveal Illiana. Nissa nearly sighs with relief to see the Witch Child. Illiana's hand on the doorknob she stands in the doorway.

"Yeah Illiana?" Nissa asks calmly.

"Hannah's ordered some pizzas… You ok Nissa?" Illiana asks in her kind sort of voice.

"I'm fine. I'll head down in a few." She says hiding her lie with a smile.

"Ok." Illiana says turning and closing the door.

Nissa lets out a large sigh. Sitting up she pulls her arm from beneath her. Blood smeared across her skin she puts the cardboard back over the blade. She feels her skin pulling back together and healing leaving no scars behind.

"That was close. Next time I'll lock the door." She says putting the razor back beneath her pillow.

She stands and looks at the sheets. The white cotton has a damp streak of crimson. With an aggravated sigh she strips her bed and changes from the red tank top to a black on. Holding her sheets and tank top in her arms she walks out of her room. As she walks through the hallway she hears faint crying. She looks at the door for a moment then walks downstairs.

Passing the laughter filled living room Nissa makes her way to the laundry room. Seeing a load going she puts the sheets and tank on top of the washer, hinting to whomever did the next load to wash them for her. Leaving the laundry room she quickly slips back upstairs. She walks over to the door she heard the crying from. Leaning on the doorframe she gently knocks on the door.

"David?" You in there?" She asks through the door.

Shuffling and rustling can be heard through the door. Then a few quick steps and the lock on the door click open. Slowly the door opens and David Blackburn peaks out at Nissa.

"What is it Nissa?" He asks behind the door.

"I just wanted to see how you're holding up." She says leaning her head on the doorframe.

"Oh I'm just peachy… besides losing my soulmate. Yeah I'm just great." He says sarcastically.

"I know it hurts, but you can't stay in mourning for eternity." She says sounding oddly kind.

"You don't understand. You did lose the person you were meant to be with… I-I'm sorry Nissa. It's just that it's been six months today and…" He trails off looking down at the carpet.

"Hey we're all hurting it's just… the other Daybreakers show it differently." She says smiling.

"Yeah, I guess. Can you just leave me alone for a while?" He asks his eyes a bit soft.

"No problem." She says turning as he closes the door.

__

I see your soul, its kind of grey

You see my heart, you look away

You see my wrist, I know your pain

I know your purpose on your plane

Don't say a last prayer

Because you could never find

She heads down the stairs as the door opens. Eric and Thea walk in each carrying three pizza boxes and three carry out cartons. Nissa takes the carry out cartons from both of them as she closes the door.

"Thanks. Pizzas here!" Eric says loudly as they walk into the kitchen.

They always did this. Ordered six pizzas, two cheese, two pepperoni and two sausage, then six orders of garlic bread, only three orders had cheese. They put the pizzas and the garlic bread on the bar in the large kitchen. Putting the boxes side by side the Daybreakers file into the kitchen, all the non-vampires with a plate in hand. The only Daybreaker missing was David. Nissa grabs a slice of each kind of pizza and a piece of cheese garlic bread. She waits while everyone gets their share when she sees Illiana has two plates.

"I never knew you ate enough for two people." Maggie Neely comments snickering between bites of a piece of sausage pizza.

"I don't. It's for David. He's been up in his room all day. It's been six months since Gillian, Jez and Morgead died today." Illiana says lowering her voice.

"Whoa. It's been that long already? It don't feel like it, or is that just me Jamie?" Poppy says looking up over her shoulder at James.

"It's not just you Poppy, it still feels like it was yesterday." James says solemnly.

"Well I'll be back." Illiana says walking out of the room.

Even though she didn't need to eat, Nissa had grown to like pizza. Glancing around she noticed a majority of the Daybreakers were out of the room. Considering that vampires don't need to eat normal food Nissa was the only vampire eating. Poppy, James, Ash, Kestrel, Rowan, Jade, Nissa and Delos Redfern all stood around the kitchen as Nissa finished her piece of pizza.

"When are we going out tonight?" Rowan asks looking at everyone.

"About an hour after dusk." Delos says still sounding very much like royalty.

"Isn't Thierry joining us?" Nissa asks putting down her plate.

"No he's staying here with Hannah." Kestrel says with a sigh.

"Well it's about an hour before dusk so we can go watch a movie wit everybody." Poppy says smiling as James chuckles.

"I'm for that." Jade says smiling.

Her sisters laugh at her as they all start waling out of the kitchen. Nissa walks out last and stands in the doorway tot he living room. James sits on the floor Poppy between his legs leaning back on his chest. Mark Carter sits on the floor Jade's head on his lap. Ash lays on the loveseat Mary-Lynnette Carter laying in front of him his arm draped over her waist. Thierry sits on an oversized recliner with Hannah Snow cuddled up to his side. Thea leans her back against the arm of the couch Eric's head in her lap running her fingers through his hair.

Maggie and Delos sit on the couch Maggie's head on his shoulder and his arm around her shoulders. Raksha Keller and Galen Drache on the other side of the couch Galen's head on Keller's shoulder his arms around her waist and her's around him. Winnie sits curled up on another recliner Kestrel and Rowan leaning against it. Nissa smiles for a moment then her face goes stone as a feeling of seclusion washes over her. She turns to head up stairs and nearly walks into Illiana.

"Whoa, hi Nissa." Illiana says chuckling holding two stacked plates.

"Hey, how's David?" She asks.

"Holding on. He looked like he was crying but he was glad to see me." Illiana says the Witch Child her lips pull into a kind smile.

"That's good to hear." Nissa says with a fake smile.

"Come one. Watch the movie with us. Come on, Brad Pitt." She says smiling.

"Alright." Nissa gives in.

She walks into the living room as Illiana runs into the kitchen to dispose of the plates. Then she runs into the living room and plops down next to Nissa on the floor. They were watching Seven so at any gory part Illiana buried her head in Nissa's shoulder. At the sight of the gore most of the girl's in the room wither looked away or winced, except Nissa. She stares at the screen in a strange sort of fascination.

The sun sinks below the horizon and by the time the movie is over it was time for the vampires to hunt. Jade kissed Mark god-bye and Maggie pulled Delos aside. Nissa saw her give him a peck on the cheek. His cheeks turn scarlet as Maggie walks away. With a smirk Nissa walks out the front door out into night.

A cool breeze blows across the porch as if greeting her. She smiles as her eyes close the breeze envelopes her blowing away her feeling of isolation. The nights at the sanctuary were always pleasant for Nissa, even the stormiest night. A sigh escapes her as the wind dies down and her eyes slide open.

Down off the porch James stands with his arm around Poppy. They're chatting with Ash and his three sisters. She looks around no seeing Delos. She stretches as the door behind her opens.

"Beautiful night." Delos says walking to stand next to her.

"Yes it is, the nights up here are so peaceful." Nissa says smiling.

"With us around, things aren't so peaceful." He says with a chuckle causing Nissa to laugh too.

"It's good to hear you laughing again Nissa." Poppy calls up at her.

"There hasn't been much to laugh at." Nissa says walking down the stairs to stand beside Kestrel.

"Nothin' except me and Jamie." Poppy says leaning on her soulmate.

"You two are easy to laugh at, you're both fools." Ash says blandly.

"Oh cheer up Ash. We're supposed to he having _fun_ tonight." Jade says poking her brother in the side.

"You acting like Mary-Lynnette's dead. She's not, just be happy with that." Delos says coldly from the base of the stairs.

"Well are we gonna go hunt or what?" Poppy says trying to stop a possible fight.

"Let's go." Ash says with a huff.

Ash turns and heads for the forest. With a sigh Poppy, James, Kestrel, Jade and Rowan. Delos shakes his head and follows keeping a bit of distance from his distant family. Nissa watches them for a moment as they all walk into the edge of the forest. She sighs and follows alone.

__

What's this life for?

What's this life for?

What's this life for?

What's this life for?

Once Nissa reaches the forest the other vampires are out of sight. James and Poppy went to the east, Ash the west, Kestrel, jade and Rowan to the north and Delos wandering where he pleases. With a deep breath Nissa jumps straight up into a tree. She grabs on to a lower branch and swings herself up onto a branch. Sniffing the air she hears an owl in the distance.

When she's hunting one of the few times Nissa really feels alive. She leaps from tree to tree with barely a sound. Spotting a rabbit below her she drops down to the ground. Catching it in her hands she picks it up. _Shh it's ok. I won't kill you._ She hums to it with her mind. Her fangs slide from their sheaths then she sinks them into the soft flesh of the rabbits neck.

In deep gulps she drinks the rich blood feeling the beat of the rabbits fading pulse. She can feel the throbbing pulse in her fingers and hear the heartbeat in her ears. As the pulse fades further Nissa forces herself to pull away. The rabbit lay gasping for breath in her hands. She lays it down at the base of the tree then leaps up into the next tree.

She wipes the blood from the corners of her lips. Licking it off her fingertips she starts scanning the area for more prey. The new blood thumps through her veins as she breathes easier. She leaps to an oak tree and hears something in the distance. She crouches down on the branch concealing herself in the bright green foliage. Inaudible whispers catch her attention a few feet from her. Silently she leaps to the next tree the whispers becoming audible. 

"She always keeps to herself." One voice says.

"She never wants to just hang out with us." Another voice says.

"She always seems so depressed." The first voice says.

"Nissa is just a depressed antisocial vampire who's only use was locating the With Child and as a historian." A third voice say cruelly.

She was taken back by the voices as questions flood her mind. She falls back on the branch hitting the trunk of the tree. The words hit her like arrows to the chest. She felt trapped and alone, she knew what her fellow Daybreakers thought of her. She couldn't take if she felt like she couldn't breath.

Slowly standing she turns and leaps from the oak. Missing the branch she grabs it with her hands and hangs there for a moment. _Who could that have been? Why would they say that?_ She asks herself as she hangs above the forest floor. Then she swings herself up and lands in the next tree. She keeps leaping from tree to tree until she was sure she was far away from the whispers.

Nissa leans back against the trunk on the ancient maple tree she stood in. Her heart was racing in her chest and yet she felt as if she had been charged in the ribs by a ram. One hand on her chest the other around the trunk as she closes her eyes. Taking deep breaths she tries to calm her racing heart. So many questions floated around inside her head but were blinded by pain. An unbearable pain like a dagger being slowly driven into her.

She wanted to cry but lacks the tears. Slowly her mink eyes open she stares out into the forest. Her heart slowed but the pain remained. She listens to her surroundings, for a possible sign of any of the other Daybreakers. Nothing, only the other creatures of the night.

__

But they ain't here anymore

Don't have to settle the score

Cause we all live

Under the reign of one king

But they ain't here anymore

Don't have to settle no goddamn score

Cause we all live

Under the reign of one king

One king, one king, one king

Hannah, Thierry and Illiana sit up in the kitchen, the girls drinking tea. Maggie, Keller, Galen, Mary-Lynnette, Mark and Winnie all sit in the living room watching _MTV's Fear_. Hannah sips her tea as Thierry stretches on his stool beside her.

"I'm worried about Nissa." Illiana says staring into her cup.

"She seems fine to me." Hannah says putting down her cup.

"She's always by herself. I'm worried something's wrong. I asked her and she said nothing…" Illiana says before she looks up at the soulmates.

"Illiana, she's always been like that. Ever since I met her she's kept to herself." Hannah says taking another sip of her tea.

"She's right, Hannah. Nissa may keep to herself but that is how a vampire is… but something _is_ wrong." Thierry says as Mary-Lynnette walks into the laundry room.

"When I went upstairs to tell her that we ordered pizza she seemed like she was hiding something." Illiana says swirling the contents of her cup.

"Like what?" Hannah asks putting down her cup.

"Hey do you guys know whose sheets these are?" Mary-Lynnette asks walking into the kitchen.

They all turn to look at her standing in the door way. She holds up a white sheet, a streak of dark crimson across it. Illiana's eyes widen and Hannah raises a hand to her mouth.

"Do you think you could tell who's blood it is, Thierry?" Mary-Lynnette asks chewing her lower lip.

"I can try." He says as he rises.

He walks over to her. Taking the sheet from her he bunches it up streak of blood on top. Raising the sheet to his nose and sniffs at the blood trying to find some clue as to the owner. With a bit of a sigh he licks the blood then lowers the sheet.

"It's vampire blood. I can't tell from who but I know it's from a lamia." Thierry declares as the front door creaks open.

All their heads turn to look down the hall at the front door. Nissa steps inside and closes the door behind her. Her face looks pasty with small beads of sweat on her forehead. Illiana gets up to talk to her just before she heads upstairs.

"You see Hannah, something _is_ wrong with Nissa. I could feel it." Illiana says standing between the bar and Thierry and Mary-Lynnette.

"The pieces do fit." Thierry says flatly.

"What are you talking about?" Mary-Lynnette asks with a bit of confusion.

"I thought something was wrong with Nissa, and this proves it." Illiana says a look of worry appearing on her face.

"Well what can we do?" Hannah asks looking at all three of them.

"I don't know… but we have to do something." Mary-Lynnette says hugging herself before a tense silence falls over them.

They all exchange glances. Illiana's and Mary-Lynnette's of worry; while Thierry is thoughtful and Hannah's is a bit scared. Then suddenly Illiana lets out an aggravated sigh and stomps her foot.

"I'm going up there." She declares before walking out of the room.

Hannah shoots up to her feet as they all follow her. She walks past the living room and nearly breaks into a run up the stairs. Keller, Galen, Mark, Winnie and Maggie stand in the doorway to the living room.

"What's going on?" Keller asks as Thierry and Hannah pass them.

Mary-Lynnette stops to explain what's going on. Then a scream breaks through the mansion. They all run up the stairs. David, Thea and Mark step out of their rooms to see what's going on. Illiana stands in front of the door to Nissa's room. Her face white as tears stream from her eyes. Keller rushes to her blood sister and she buries her head in Keller's shoulder. Everyone crowds around them and looks inside Nissa's room. Nissa staked herself.

Thea grabs Eric's hand and he puts an arm around her shoulders. Mark hugs his sister as she cries. Maggie backs up into David and he puts a hand on her shoulder. Hannah clings to Thierry as Winnie falls against the wall in a heap of sobs. Galen walks into the room and picks up a piece of paper near Nissa's impaled body.

__

But they ain't here anymore

Don't have to settle no goddamn score

Cause we all live

Under the reign of one king

One king, one king, one king

But they ain't here anymore

Don't have to settle no goddamn score

Cause we all live

Under the reign of one king

I am no longer needed among you.

Nothing will change with me gone.

Take care of everyone.

Nissa

To Be Continued…

© 05/28/02


End file.
